At Bucine.

At Bucine railway station, a newly arrived tourist:

Newly arrived tourist:

“Oh God, I’m here, finally!

Mister… Hey mister, you live here, don’t you? ”

Me:

“Yes Sir, I’m Bucinese, born and resident here, right now. ”

Suspicious tourist:

“Yeah, well… I’ve just arrived, by train, I’m English, from Manchester; I’m afraid I don’t know anything about Bucine; I chose my holiday destination by chance, flipping a coin. ”

I wonder if… I’m afraid of mafia. How is crime here? Is Bucine safe or unsafe? It’s unsafe, isn’t it?”

Me:

“ Oh yes, please stay alert. If I were you I would never talk to the first unknown person you meet or accept something from him. He will surely be a criminal, a danger to your safety and wallet, much more to your wallet, indeed.

However, may I give you a lift to the “agriturismo” you have booked?”

Idiot tourist:

“ Oh yes, please. Thank you very much indeed.”

At Bucine bus stop:

Bus driver:

“Hey man.”

Me:

“Yes please?”

Bus driver:

“I’m the bus driver…”

Me:

“Oho, that’s fine, isn’t it?”

Bus driver:

“Well, excuse me, I’m here for the first time, I’m not used to it at all. May I ask your help?”

Me:

“For free or you are willing to pay for it?”

Bus driver:

“What?” Not understanding the meaning of my words.

Me:

“OK, OK, leave it, tell me your doubts.”

Bus driver:

“I have to go to the football arena, may I pass through the town, right now?”

Me:

“Oh yes, no! I mean not now because today is market day in Bucine and all the central streets are full of market stands. There is not enough space to pass, anyway it Is strictly forbidden today till two o’clock for residents too.

However still after two o’clock you cannot pass through Bucine. Your bus is too long to manage to turn church corner, I guess.”

Bus driver:

“Right! could you could suggest an alternative way then?”

Me:

“Sure, go to the railway station and ask someone to escort you there….”

Giancarlo